105 products
105 products














105 products
Digital Gift Card
Regular price $10.00 USD Save $-10.00 USDShopping for someone else but not sure what to give them? Give them the gift of choice with a Long Winter Soap Co. Gift Card.
Gift cards are delivered by email (not mail, as they are DIGITAL) and contain instructions to redeem them at checkout. Our gift cards have no additional processing fees.
Driftwood Perfume Oil
Regular price $10.00 USD Save $-10.00 USDSea salt and sun washed timber.
About .3oz in a little glass bottle complete with roll-on thinger. Individually shrink wrapped, and tested on friends, not animals.
The carrier oils I use are fractionated coconut oil and unrefined hemp seed oil, which make for a light, non-greasy feel when applied. The vitamin e is in there as an antioxidant. You'll notice the shocking lack of alcohol.
Ingredients: Fractionated Coconut Oil; Unrefined Hemp Seed Oil; Fragrance Oil; Tocopherol (Vitamin E)
Unicorn Farts Lip Balm
Regular price $5.00 USD Save $-5.00 USDYeti Breath Lip Balm
Regular price $5.00 USD Save $-5.00 USDPony Breath Lip Balm
Regular price $5.00 USD Save $-5.00 USDPonies like two things: apples and sugar cubes. OK, and carrots and scritchies and playing tag, but mostly apples and sugar cubes. This balm smells like those two things. You can stop making out with your pony now.*
*Tina Belcher glasses not included, but recommended.
This balm is designed to melt into your lips, not into your jeans! Which is good, because I keep mine in my butt pocket. That would be embarrassing... It's got lots of yumminess in it: natural beeswax (you'll smell a little extra honey), unrefined cocoa butter (you'll smell a little cocoa too), unrefined shea butter, jojoba, sweet almond, and grape seed oils, vitamin E, and flavor oil. It's carefully formulated to give you the perfect balance of protection and softness, so you won't end up feeling greasy or waxy. My mom says, "Ooo, creeamy" every time she uses hers, if that's any indication. She has a little flair for the dramatic.
It comes in an oval plastic twist-up tube, which holds .15oz/4g and is individually shrink wrapped.
Love Notes Lip Balm
Regular price $5.00 USD Save $-5.00 USDWe know how y'all love to make a statement with your lip balms, so we're giving you some options for Valentine's Day! With twelve different phrases, you should be able to find one to match any relationship or lack thereof.*
Love is complicated enough, so we kept it simple and flavored them all with chocolate and strawberries. We figured that wouldn't clash with the traditional snacks of the day, and to be honest, we didn't want to think about what your relationship tastes like.
This balm is designed to melt into your lips, not into your jeans! Which is good, because I keep mine in my butt pocket. That would be embarrassing... It's got lots of yumminess in it: natural beeswax (you'll smell a little extra honey), unrefined cocoa butter (you'll smell a little cocoa too), unrefined shea butter, jojoba, sweet almond, and grape seed oils, vitamin E, and flavor oil. It's carefully formulated to give you the perfect balance of protection and softness, so you won't end up feeling greasy or waxy. My mom says, "Ooo, creeamy" every time she uses hers, if that's any indication. She has a little flair for the dramatic.
It comes in an oval plastic twist-up tube, which holds .15oz/4g and is individually shrink wrapped.
*Not classy enough for you? Please find our personalized Suck It balm here.
Puppy Kisses Lip Balm
Regular price $5.00 USD Save $-5.00 USDIf you don't like puppy kisses, you can't sit with us. Flavored with peanut butter and pumpkin, and you don't even have to wonder where it's been!*
*No puppies were harmed in the taking of this photo, but Buckley did require 11 treats to sort of sit still for almost (but not quite) long enough to take an in-focus shot.
This balm is designed to melt into your lips, not into your jeans! Which is good, because I keep mine in my butt pocket. That would be embarrassing... It's got lots of yumminess in it: natural beeswax (you'll smell a little extra honey), unrefined cocoa butter (you'll smell a little cocoa too), unrefined shea butter, jojoba, sweet almond, and grape seed oils, vitamin E, and flavor oil. It's carefully formulated to give you the perfect balance of protection and softness, so you won't end up feeling greasy or waxy. My mom says, "Ooo, creeamy" every time she uses hers, if that's any indication. She has a little flair for the dramatic.
It comes in an oval plastic twist-up tube, which holds .15oz/4g and is individually shrink wrapped.
Nasty Woman Lip Balm
Regular price $5.00 USD Save $-5.00 USDFor all those times some asshole keeps interrupting you and you nearly bite through your lip. We flavored it with coffee and walnut, because we suddenly and inexplicably were in the mood for pairing nuts and scalding hot coffee.
This balm is designed to melt into your lips, not into your jeans! Which is good, because I keep mine in my butt pocket. That would be embarrassing... It's got lots of yumminess in it: natural beeswax (you'll smell a little extra honey), unrefined cocoa butter (you'll smell a little cocoa too), unrefined shea butter, jojoba, sweet almond, and grape seed oils, vitamin E, and flavor oil. It's carefully formulated to give you the perfect balance of protection and softness, so you won't end up feeling greasy or waxy. My mom says, "Ooo, creeamy" every time she uses hers, if that's any indication. She has a little flair for the dramatic.
It comes in an oval plastic twist-up tube, which holds .15oz/4g and is individually shrink wrapped.
Read My Lip Balm
Regular price $5.00 USD Save $-5.00 USDWe've heard that a lot of you use our more salty lip balms as not-so-subtle messages in uncomfortable social situations, so we thought we'd give you a few more (even saltier) options. Now you can stock your drawer with a full spectrum of silent retorts and be prepared for whoever shows up in front of your desk!
Each balm in this series has its own insult and its own flavor, so choose wisely! And no, Karen, we can't switch up the flavors.
This balm is designed to melt into your lips, not into your jeans! Which is good, because I keep mine in my butt pocket. That would be embarrassing... It's got lots of yumminess in it: natural beeswax (you'll smell a little extra honey), unrefined cocoa butter (you'll smell a little cocoa too), unrefined shea butter, jojoba, sweet almond, and grape seed oils, vitamin E, and flavor oil. It's carefully formulated to give you the perfect balance of protection and softness, so you won't end up feeling greasy or waxy. My mom says, "Ooo, creeamy" every time she uses hers, if that's any indication. She has a little flair for the dramatic.
It comes in an oval plastic twist-up tube, which holds .15oz/4g and is individually shrink wrapped.
Reindeer Farts Lip Balm
Regular price $5.00 USD Save $-5.00 USDSuck It, Cancer Lip Balm
Regular price $5.00 USD Save $-5.00 USDThe one thing that sucks harder than Karen.
Unscented so as not to interfere with treatments.
This balm is designed to melt into your lips, not into your jeans! Which is good, because I keep mine in my butt pocket. That would be embarrassing... It's got lots of yumminess in it: natural beeswax (you'll smell a little extra honey), unrefined cocoa butter (you'll smell a little cocoa too), unrefined shea butter, jojoba, sweet almond, and grape seed oils, vitamin E, and flavor oil. It's carefully formulated to give you the perfect balance of protection and softness, so you won't end up feeling greasy or waxy. My mom says, "Ooo, creeamy" every time she uses hers, if that's any indication. She has a little flair for the dramatic.
It comes in an oval plastic twist-up tube, which holds .15oz/4g and is individually shrink wrapped.
Suck It, COVID Lip Balm
Regular price $5.00 USD Save $-5.00 USDWe don’t want to offend anyone, but we’ve decided that this COVID-19 virus kind of sucks. We’re definitely ready for it to be over so we can get back to normal, but this thing is really scary, so we’re staying home, washing our hands, and getting real creative with the liquor cabinet.
Which is why this lip balm tastes like bathtub gin, just like my Great Great Aunt Dora made back in 1918 (and, let’s be honest, all the way until the end of Prohibition).
And because we’d really like the scientists to get this thing under control and skip that whole second wave, we’ll be donating $1 from each lip balm sold (up to $500) to the World Heath Organization.
This balm is designed to melt into your lips, not into your jeans! Which is good, because I keep mine in my butt pocket. That would be embarrassing... It's got lots of yumminess in it: natural beeswax (you'll smell a little extra honey), unrefined cocoa butter (you'll smell a little cocoa too), unrefined shea butter, jojoba, sweet almond, and grape seed oils, vitamin E, and flavor oil. It's carefully formulated to give you the perfect balance of protection and softness, so you won't end up feeling greasy or waxy. My mom says, "Ooo, creeamy" every time she uses hers, if that's any indication. She has a little flair for the dramatic.
It comes in an oval plastic twist-up tube, which holds .15oz/4g and is individually shrink wrapped.
Uppercross Cottage Mittens Pattern
Regular price $8.00 USD Save $-8.00 USDNamed for and designed after my literary "if you could live anywhere...", this pair's perfect for all those long walks to Charles Hayter's house.
These mittens are knit bottom up using approximately 240 yards of DK weight yarn (sample knit with a single skein of ontheround Cottage DK in Snapdragon) and needles to achieve a gauge of 24 stitches and 34 rows per 4” (likely US 3 / 3.25 mm or US 4 / 3.5 mm, US 2.5 / 3 mm if you're loosey goosey).
The stitches and chart are intermediate-to-advanced level, but I've found that a determined beginner can figure out a complicated chart if they're stubborn enough, and I'm always available to enab--I mean hold your hand.
(This is digital knitting pattern for cabled mittens. No, you're not getting an actual pair of hand-knit mittens for $8. Come on now. A download link will display after checkout.)
Noir Lip Balm
Regular price $5.00 USD Save $-5.00 USDBaby, with our balm and your lips, we could go places.
Flavor: black cherry + bourbon
This balm is designed to melt into your lips, not into your jeans! Which is good, because I keep mine in my butt pocket. That would be embarrassing... It's got lots of yumminess in it: natural beeswax (you'll smell a little extra honey), unrefined cocoa butter (you'll smell a little cocoa too), unrefined shea butter, jojoba, sweet almond, and grape seed oils, vitamin E, and flavor oil. It's carefully formulated to give you the perfect balance of protection and softness, so you won't end up feeling greasy or waxy. My mom says, "Ooo, creeamy" every time she uses hers, if that's any indication. She has a little flair for the dramatic.
It comes in an oval plastic twist-up tube, which holds .15oz/4g and is individually shrink wrapped.
Lip Balm Wedding Favors
Regular price $150.00 USD Save $-150.00 USDThis listing is for 50 tubes of lip balm favors with labels customized by color and message. If you need 100 tubes, add 2 of this listing to your cart. If you need 150, add 3, 200 add 4, etc. After you've purchased, don't forget to contact me with the date of your event, your chosen flavors (please keep it up to 5 of the flavors listed below) and your chosen message (examples below).
This balm is designed to melt into your lips, not into your jeans! Which is good, because I keep mine in my butt pocket. That would be embarrassing... It's got lots of yumminess in it: natural beeswax (you'll smell a little honey), unrefined cocoa butter (you'll smell a little cocoa too), unrefined shea butter, jojoba, sweet almond, and grape seed oils, vitamin E, and peppermint essential oil. It's carefully formulated to give you the perfect balance of protection and softness, so you won't end up feeling greasy or waxy. My mom says, "Ooo, creeamy" every time she uses hers, if that's any indication. She has a little flair for the dramatic.
The balm comes in oval plastic twist-up tubes, which hold .15oz/4g each and are individually shrink wrapped.
Please allow up to three weeks for delivery, as this listing is made to order.
Flavors:
And some popular messages:
"Aubrey + Harvey
Sittin' in a Tree"
"Lindsay & Heather
July 23rd, 2016"
"Team Johnson
July 23rd, 2016"
"Thank you for sharing this day,
Gabby & Jill"
"We're so glad you came!
Vincent & Gabe"
"We loved your company!
Hannah & Mark"
As always, we're diehard allies of the LGBTQP community! We're honored to be included in your celebration of love, regardless of your pronoun or preference.
Polar Bear Farts Lip Balm
Regular price $5.00 USD Save $-5.00 USDDragonfruit Perfume Oil
Regular price $10.00 USD Save $-10.00 USDSweet juicy dragonfruit, minus the weird seeds all up in your teeth.
About .3oz in a little glass bottle complete with roll-on thinger. Individually shrink wrapped, and tested on friends, not animals.
The carrier oils I use are fractionated coconut oil and unrefined hemp seed oil, which make for a light, non-greasy feel when applied. The vitamin e is in there as an antioxidant. You'll notice the shocking lack of alcohol.
Ingredients: Fractionated Coconut Oil; Unrefined Hemp Seed Oil; Fragrance Oil; Tocopherol (Vitamin E)
My Lips, My Choice Lip Balm
Regular price $5.00 USD Save $-5.00 USDWe believe bodily autonomy to be a human right, and we don't care who knows it. This outspoken tube right here smells like cherry cobbler.
This balm is designed to melt into your lips, not into your jeans! Which is good, because I keep mine in my butt pocket. That would be embarrassing... It's got lots of yumminess in it: natural beeswax (you'll smell a little extra honey), unrefined cocoa butter (you'll smell a little cocoa too), unrefined shea butter, jojoba, sweet almond, and grape seed oils, vitamin E, and flavor oil. It's carefully formulated to give you the perfect balance of protection and softness, so you won't end up feeling greasy or waxy. My mom says, "Ooo, creeamy" every time she uses hers, if that's any indication. She has a little flair for the dramatic.
It comes in an oval plastic twist-up tube, which holds .15oz/4g and is individually shrink wrapped.
Mommy's Juice Box Lip Balm
Regular price $5.00 USD Save $-5.00 USDMerlot, black currant, and JUST LET ME PEE BY MYSELF ONCE TODAY, GODDAMNIT!!
This balm is designed to melt into your lips, not into your jeans! Which is good, because I keep mine in my butt pocket. That would be embarrassing... It's got lots of yumminess in it: natural beeswax (you'll smell a little extra honey), unrefined cocoa butter (you'll smell a little cocoa too), unrefined shea butter, jojoba, sweet almond, and grape seed oils, vitamin E, and flavor oil. It's carefully formulated to give you the perfect balance of protection and softness, so you won't end up feeling greasy or waxy. My mom says, "Ooo, creeamy" every time she uses hers, if that's any indication. She has a little flair for the dramatic.
It comes in an oval plastic twist-up tube, which holds .15oz/4g and is individually shrink wrapped.
Rum & Cola Lip Balm
Regular price $5.00 USD Save $-5.00 USDWatermelon Lip Balm
Regular price $5.00 USD Save $-5.00 USDPumpkin Cheesecake Lip Balm
Regular price $5.00 USD Save $-5.00 USDPumpkin Chip Perfume Oil
Regular price $10.00 USD Save $-10.00 USDChestnut Lip Balm
Regular price $5.00 USD Save $-5.00 USDYou can roast this over an open fire, but we wouldn't recommend it. It would probably melt.
This balm is designed to melt into your lips, not into your jeans! Which is good, because I keep mine in my butt pocket. That would be embarrassing... It's got lots of yumminess in it: natural beeswax (you'll smell a little extra honey), unrefined cocoa butter (you'll smell a little cocoa too), unrefined shea butter, jojoba, sweet almond, and grape seed oils, vitamin E, and flavor oil. It's carefully formulated to give you the perfect balance of protection and softness, so you won't end up feeling greasy or waxy. My mom says, "Ooo, creeamy" every time she uses hers, if that's any indication. She has a little flair for the dramatic.
It comes in an oval plastic twist-up tube, which holds .15oz/4g and is individually shrink wrapped.
Unicorn Farts Perfume Oil
Regular price $10.00 USD Save $-10.00 USDGlacier Perfume Oil
Regular price $10.00 USD Save $-10.00 USDPeppermint, eucalyptus, cypress, a few drops of rosemary, and a dash of poppyseeds. It's like a snowball to the nose.
About .3oz in a little glass bottle complete with roll-on thinger. Individually shrink wrapped, and tested on friends, not animals.
The carrier oils I use are fractionated coconut oil and unrefined hemp seed oil, which make for a light, non-greasy feel when applied. The vitamin e is in there as an antioxidant. You'll notice the shocking lack of alcohol.
Ingredients: Fractionated Coconut Oil; Unrefined Hemp Seed Oil; Peppermint, Eucalyptus, Cypress, and Rosemary Essential Oils; Tocopherol (Vitamin E)
Eggnog Lip Balm
Regular price $5.00 USD Save $-5.00 USDCoffee Brandy Lip Balm
Regular price $5.00 USD Save $-5.00 USDGet newsletters from us! All the cool kids are doing it.