Featured In-Stock Items

Shopping for someone else but not sure what to give them? Give them the gift of choice with a Long Winter Soap Co. Gift Card.

Gift cards are delivered by email (not mail, as they are DIGITAL) and contain instructions to redeem them at checkout. Our gift cards have no additional processing fees.

Smells just exactly like real imaginary unicorn farts! Which smell like spearmint and pink cotton candy, everybody knows that.

This balm is designed to melt into your lips, not into your jeans! Which is good, because I keep mine in my butt pocket. That would be embarrassing... It's got lots of yumminess in it: natural beeswax (you'll smell a little extra honey), unrefined cocoa butter (you'll smell a little cocoa too), unrefined shea butter, jojoba, sweet almond, and grape seed oils, vitamin E, and flavor oil. It's carefully formulated to give you the perfect balance of protection and softness, so you won't end up feeling greasy or waxy. My mom says, "Ooo, creeamy" every time she uses hers, if that's any indication. She has a little flair for the dramatic.

It comes in an oval plastic twist-up tube, which holds .15oz/4g and is individually shrink wrapped.

'Unicorn Farts' for cosmetic use is a registered trademark. My registered trademark, to be specific. Thank you for respecting my intellectual property and legal headaches, bath folk!

Yetis eat yellow snow. So this tastes like a lemon coconut snow cone! Heck yeah, lemon snow cones.

This balm is designed to melt into your lips, not into your jeans! Which is good, because I keep mine in my butt pocket. That would be embarrassing... It's got lots of yumminess in it: natural beeswax (you'll smell a little extra honey), unrefined cocoa butter (you'll smell a little cocoa too), unrefined shea butter, jojoba, sweet almond, and grape seed oils, vitamin E, and flavor oil. It's carefully formulated to give you the perfect balance of protection and softness, so you won't end up feeling greasy or waxy. My mom says, "Ooo, creeamy" every time she uses hers, if that's any indication. She has a little flair for the dramatic.

It comes in an oval plastic twist-up tube, which holds .15oz/4g and is individually shrink wrapped.

Ponies like two things: apples and sugar cubes. OK, and carrots and scritchies and playing tag, but mostly apples and sugar cubes. This balm smells like those two things. You can stop making out with your pony now.*

*Tina Belcher glasses not included, but recommended.

This balm is designed to melt into your lips, not into your jeans! Which is good, because I keep mine in my butt pocket. That would be embarrassing... It's got lots of yumminess in it: natural beeswax (you'll smell a little extra honey), unrefined cocoa butter (you'll smell a little cocoa too), unrefined shea butter, jojoba, sweet almond, and grape seed oils, vitamin E, and flavor oil. It's carefully formulated to give you the perfect balance of protection and softness, so you won't end up feeling greasy or waxy. My mom says, "Ooo, creeamy" every time she uses hers, if that's any indication. She has a little flair for the dramatic.

It comes in an oval plastic twist-up tube, which holds .15oz/4g and is individually shrink wrapped.

We know how y'all love to make a statement with your lip balms, so we're giving you some options for Valentine's Day! With twelve different phrases, you should be able to find one to match any relationship or lack thereof.* 

Love is complicated enough, so we kept it simple and flavored them all with chocolate and strawberries. We figured that wouldn't clash with the traditional snacks of the day, and to be honest, we didn't want to think about what your relationship tastes like.

This balm is designed to melt into your lips, not into your jeans! Which is good, because I keep mine in my butt pocket. That would be embarrassing... It's got lots of yumminess in it: natural beeswax (you'll smell a little extra honey), unrefined cocoa butter (you'll smell a little cocoa too), unrefined shea butter, jojoba, sweet almond, and grape seed oils, vitamin E, and flavor oil. It's carefully formulated to give you the perfect balance of protection and softness, so you won't end up feeling greasy or waxy. My mom says, "Ooo, creeamy" every time she uses hers, if that's any indication. She has a little flair for the dramatic.

It comes in an oval plastic twist-up tube, which holds .15oz/4g and is individually shrink wrapped.

*Not classy enough for you? Please find our personalized Suck It balm here.

If you don't like puppy kisses, you can't sit with us. Flavored with peanut butter and pumpkin, and you don't even have to wonder where it's been!*

*No puppies were harmed in the taking of this photo, but Buckley did require 11 treats to sort of sit still for almost (but not quite) long enough to take an in-focus shot.

This balm is designed to melt into your lips, not into your jeans! Which is good, because I keep mine in my butt pocket. That would be embarrassing... It's got lots of yumminess in it: natural beeswax (you'll smell a little extra honey), unrefined cocoa butter (you'll smell a little cocoa too), unrefined shea butter, jojoba, sweet almond, and grape seed oils, vitamin E, and flavor oil. It's carefully formulated to give you the perfect balance of protection and softness, so you won't end up feeling greasy or waxy. My mom says, "Ooo, creeamy" every time she uses hers, if that's any indication. She has a little flair for the dramatic.

It comes in an oval plastic twist-up tube, which holds .15oz/4g and is individually shrink wrapped.

For all those times some asshole keeps interrupting you and you nearly bite through your lip. We flavored it with coffee and walnut, because we suddenly and inexplicably were in the mood for pairing nuts and scalding hot coffee. 

This balm is designed to melt into your lips, not into your jeans! Which is good, because I keep mine in my butt pocket. That would be embarrassing... It's got lots of yumminess in it: natural beeswax (you'll smell a little extra honey), unrefined cocoa butter (you'll smell a little cocoa too), unrefined shea butter, jojoba, sweet almond, and grape seed oils, vitamin E, and flavor oil. It's carefully formulated to give you the perfect balance of protection and softness, so you won't end up feeling greasy or waxy. My mom says, "Ooo, creeamy" every time she uses hers, if that's any indication. She has a little flair for the dramatic.

It comes in an oval plastic twist-up tube, which holds .15oz/4g and is individually shrink wrapped.

We've heard that a lot of you use our more salty lip balms as not-so-subtle messages in uncomfortable social situations, so we thought we'd give you a few more (even saltier) options. Now you can stock your drawer with a full spectrum of silent retorts and be prepared for whoever shows up in front of your desk!

Each balm in this series has its own insult and its own flavor, so choose wisely! And no, Karen, we can't switch up the flavors. 

This balm is designed to melt into your lips, not into your jeans! Which is good, because I keep mine in my butt pocket. That would be embarrassing... It's got lots of yumminess in it: natural beeswax (you'll smell a little extra honey), unrefined cocoa butter (you'll smell a little cocoa too), unrefined shea butter, jojoba, sweet almond, and grape seed oils, vitamin E, and flavor oil. It's carefully formulated to give you the perfect balance of protection and softness, so you won't end up feeling greasy or waxy. My mom says, "Ooo, creeamy" every time she uses hers, if that's any indication. She has a little flair for the dramatic.

It comes in an oval plastic twist-up tube, which holds .15oz/4g and is individually shrink wrapped.

Reindeer Farts (the flying kind, don't get all zoology major on us) smell like peppermint-frosted sugar cookies. You didn't think Santa ate all those cookies himself, did you?

This balm is designed to melt into your lips, not into your jeans! Which is good, because I keep mine in my butt pocket. That would be embarrassing... It's got lots of yumminess in it: natural beeswax (you'll smell a little extra honey), unrefined cocoa butter (you'll smell a little cocoa too), unrefined shea butter, jojoba, sweet almond, and grape seed oils, vitamin E, and flavor oil. It's carefully formulated to give you the perfect balance of protection and softness, so you won't end up feeling greasy or waxy. My mom says, "Ooo, creeamy" every time she uses hers, if that's any indication. She has a little flair for the dramatic.

It comes in an oval plastic twist-up tube, which holds .15oz/4g and is individually shrink wrapped.

The one thing that sucks harder than Karen.

Unscented so as not to interfere with treatments. 

This balm is designed to melt into your lips, not into your jeans! Which is good, because I keep mine in my butt pocket. That would be embarrassing... It's got lots of yumminess in it: natural beeswax (you'll smell a little extra honey), unrefined cocoa butter (you'll smell a little cocoa too), unrefined shea butter, jojoba, sweet almond, and grape seed oils, vitamin E, and flavor oil. It's carefully formulated to give you the perfect balance of protection and softness, so you won't end up feeling greasy or waxy. My mom says, "Ooo, creeamy" every time she uses hers, if that's any indication. She has a little flair for the dramatic.

It comes in an oval plastic twist-up tube, which holds .15oz/4g and is individually shrink wrapped.

We don’t want to offend anyone, but we’ve decided that this COVID-19 virus kind of sucks. We’re definitely ready for it to be over so we can get back to normal, but this thing is really scary, so we’re staying home, washing our hands, and getting real creative with the liquor cabinet.

Which is why this lip balm tastes like bathtub gin, just like my Great Great Aunt Dora made back in 1918 (and, let’s be honest, all the way until the end of Prohibition).

And because we’d really like the scientists to get this thing under control and skip that whole second wave, we’ll be donating $1 from each lip balm sold (up to $500) to the World Heath Organization.

This balm is designed to melt into your lips, not into your jeans! Which is good, because I keep mine in my butt pocket. That would be embarrassing... It's got lots of yumminess in it: natural beeswax (you'll smell a little extra honey), unrefined cocoa butter (you'll smell a little cocoa too), unrefined shea butter, jojoba, sweet almond, and grape seed oils, vitamin E, and flavor oil. It's carefully formulated to give you the perfect balance of protection and softness, so you won't end up feeling greasy or waxy. My mom says, "Ooo, creeamy" every time she uses hers, if that's any indication. She has a little flair for the dramatic.

It comes in an oval plastic twist-up tube, which holds .15oz/4g and is individually shrink wrapped.

One of my very favorite treats to bake in the fall is chocolate chip pumpkin bread, and this is the liquid, non-edible version of that. Sweet, spicy pumpkin and dark chocolate. Doesn't get much yummier than that.

About .3oz in a little glass bottle complete with roll-on thinger. Individually shrink wrapped, and tested on friends, not animals.

The carrier oils I use are fractionated coconut oil and unrefined hemp seed oil, which make for a light, non-greasy feel when applied. The vitamin e is in there as an antioxidant. You'll notice the shocking lack of alcohol.

Ingredients: Fractionated Coconut Oil; Unrefined Hemp Seed Oil; Fragrance Oil; Tocopherol (Vitamin E)

Named for and designed after my literary "if you could live anywhere...", this pair's perfect for all those long walks to Charles Hayter's house.

These mittens are knit bottom up using approximately 240 yards of DK weight yarn (sample knit with a single skein of ontheround Cottage DK in Snapdragon) and needles to achieve a gauge of 24 stitches and 34 rows per 4” (likely US 3 / 3.25 mm or US 4 / 3.5 mm, US 2.5 / 3 mm if you're loosey goosey).

The stitches and chart are intermediate-to-advanced level, but I've found that a determined beginner can figure out a complicated chart if they're stubborn enough, and I'm always available to enab--I mean hold your hand.

(This is digital knitting pattern for cabled mittens. No, you're not getting an actual pair of hand-knit mittens for $8. Come on now. A download link will display after checkout.)

Baby, with our balm and your lips, we could go places. 

Flavor: black cherry + bourbon

Sales from this lip balm will go toward my husband's new film MAINE NOIR, a film about a woman who finds a lot of money hidden in her house and -- SPOILER -- someone wants it back. 

This balm is designed to melt into your lips, not into your jeans! Which is good, because I keep mine in my butt pocket. That would be embarrassing... It's got lots of yumminess in it: natural beeswax (you'll smell a little extra honey), unrefined cocoa butter (you'll smell a little cocoa too), unrefined shea butter, jojoba, sweet almond, and grape seed oils, vitamin E, and flavor oil. It's carefully formulated to give you the perfect balance of protection and softness, so you won't end up feeling greasy or waxy. My mom says, "Ooo, creeamy" every time she uses hers, if that's any indication. She has a little flair for the dramatic.

It comes in an oval plastic twist-up tube, which holds .15oz/4g and is individually shrink wrapped.

Lavender essential oil, sweet honey & beeswax fragrance oil.

About .3oz in a little glass bottle complete with roll-on thinger. Individually shrink wrapped, and tested on friends, not animals.

The carrier oils I use are fractionated coconut oil and unrefined hemp seed oil, which make for a light, non-greasy feel when applied. The vitamin e is in there as an antioxidant. You'll notice the shocking lack of alcohol.

Ingredients: Fractionated Coconut Oil; Unrefined Hemp Seed Oil; Fragrance Oil; Tocopherol (Vitamin E)

Sweet grassy greens, peppermint, and patchouli. 

About .3oz in a little glass bottle complete with roll-on thinger. Individually shrink wrapped, and tested on friends, not animals.

The carrier oils I use are fractionated coconut oil and unrefined hemp seed oil, which make for a light, non-greasy feel when applied. The vitamin e is in there as an antioxidant. You'll notice the shocking lack of alcohol.

Ingredients: Fractionated Coconut Oil; Unrefined Hemp Seed Oil; Fragrance Oil; Tocopherol (Vitamin E)

This listing is for 50 tubes of lip balm favors with labels customized by color and message. If you need 100 tubes, add 2 of this listing to your cart.  If you need 150, add 3, 200 add 4, etc.  After you've purchased, don't forget to contact me with the date of your event, your chosen flavors (please keep it up to 5 of the flavors listed below) and your chosen message (examples below). 

This balm is designed to melt into your lips, not into your jeans! Which is good, because I keep mine in my butt pocket. That would be embarrassing... It's got lots of yumminess in it: natural beeswax (you'll smell a little honey), unrefined cocoa butter (you'll smell a little cocoa too), unrefined shea butter, jojoba, sweet almond, and grape seed oils, vitamin E, and peppermint essential oil. It's carefully formulated to give you the perfect balance of protection and softness, so you won't end up feeling greasy or waxy. My mom says, "Ooo, creeamy" every time she uses hers, if that's any indication. She has a little flair for the dramatic.

The balm comes in oval plastic twist-up tubes, which hold .15oz/4g each and are individually shrink wrapped.

Please allow up to three weeks for delivery, as this listing is made to order. 

Flavors: 

• Almond
• Banana Nut
• Birch Beer
• Bourbon
• Chai
• Cherry Almond
• Chocolate Lavender
• Cocoa Rose
• Coconut Limeade
• Coffee Brandy
• Earl Grey
• Gooseberry
• Grape
• Honey
• Julep
• Lavender Honey
• Lavender Peach
• Maple Almond
• Mojito
• Orange Cream
• Peach
• Pegasus
• Peppermint Hot Cocoa
• Piña Colada
• Pistachio Chip
• Plain Jane (unscented)
• Pony Breath
• Pumpkin Cheesecake
• Puppy Kisses
• Raspberry Lime
• Sea Sprite
• Strawberry Jam
• Toffee
• Turkish Delight
• Unicorn Farts
• Vanilla Mint
• Watermelon
• White Almond
• Yeti Breath

And some popular messages:

"Aubrey + Harvey
Sittin' in a Tree"

"Lindsay & Heather
July 23rd, 2016"

"Team Johnson
July 23rd, 2016"

"Thank you for sharing this day,
Gabby & Jill"

"We're so glad you came!
Vincent & Gabe"

"We loved your company!
Hannah & Mark"

As always, we're diehard allies of the LGBTQP community! We're honored to be included in your celebration of love, regardless of your pronoun or preference. 

Yes, Sir Attenborough, we know polar bear farts really smell like seal blubber. The cartoon polar bears at our workshop fart white chocolate and peppermint! 

This balm is designed to melt into your lips, not into your jeans! Which is good, because I keep mine in my butt pocket. That would be embarrassing... It's got lots of yumminess in it: natural beeswax (you'll smell a little extra honey), unrefined cocoa butter (you'll smell a little cocoa too), unrefined shea butter, jojoba, sweet almond, and grape seed oils, vitamin E, and flavor oil. It's carefully formulated to give you the perfect balance of protection and softness, so you won't end up feeling greasy or waxy. My mom says, "Ooo, creeamy" every time she uses hers, if that's any indication. She has a little flair for the dramatic.

It comes in an oval plastic twist-up tube, which holds .15oz/4g and is individually shrink wrapped.

• Description
• Ingredients
• How to Use

• Our sweater soap is made using the same old fashioned method as our people soap, but formulated to clean and refresh your knits with lots of coconut oil and lanolin. This formula is palm-free and packaged without any plastic whatsoever. It's also gentle on your skin, so it can pull double duty in a pinch!

  Scent: Geranium & Patchouli

  About 5-6oz per bar.
  
  Superfatted to 5%, tested on friends (and their sweaters), not animals. Each bar comes in its own little muslin bag and wrapped in recycled brown paper printed with title and ingredients.
  
  

• Ingredients: Water; Lye; Coconut, Rapeseed, and Olive Oils; Lanolin; Geranium & Patchouli Essential Oils

• To use solid sweater soap, all you have to do is get a sink full of water cloudy with soap before adding your garment, either by letting the water run over the bar or by washing your hands into the soaking water. Remove the soap, let your garment get all happy and relaxed for about half an hour with occasional gentle agitation, rinse, and block as usual. 

  Never scrub your knitwear directly, and if you're concerned about colors bleeding, soak those swatches before committing to a whole project!

• Description
• Ingredients
• How to Use

• Our sweater soap is made using the same old fashioned method as our people soap, but formulated to clean and refresh your knits with lots of coconut oil and lanolin. This formula is palm-free and packaged without any plastic whatsoever. It's also gentle on your skin, so it can pull double duty in a pinch! 

  Scent: Cedar & Clove

  About 5-6oz per bar.
  
  Superfatted to 5%, tested on friends (and their sweaters), not animals. Each bar comes in its own little muslin bag and wrapped in recycled brown paper printed with title and ingredients.
  
  

• Ingredients: Water; Lye; Coconut, Rapeseed, and Olive Oils; Lanolin; Cedar & Clove Essential Oils

• To use solid sweater soap, all you have to do is get a sink full of water cloudy with soap before adding your garment, either by letting the water run over the bar or by washing your hands into the soaking water. Remove the soap, let your garment get all happy and relaxed for about half an hour with occasional gentle agitation, rinse, and block as usual. 

  Never scrub your knitwear directly, and if you're concerned about colors bleeding, soak those swatches before committing to a whole project!

Whether it was the disgruntled department store employee snarking at kids from his throne in the handbag section or your inappropriate Uncle Charlie trying to trick all the ladies onto his lap at the holiday party, you'll find all your nostalgic jollies in the bottle.  I stopped short of Winthorpe's beard salmon, probably for the best.

Notes: Bourbon, black currant, fir needle, cedar, leather

About .3oz in a little glass bottle complete with roll-on thinger. Individually shrink wrapped, and tested on friends, not animals.

The carrier oils I use are fractionated coconut oil and unrefined hemp seed oil, which make for a light, non-greasy feel when applied. The vitamin e is in there as an antioxidant. You'll notice the shocking lack of alcohol.

Ingredients: Fractionated Coconut Oil; Unrefined Hemp Seed Oil; Fragrance Oil; Tocopherol (Vitamin E)

So incredibly familiar and green, this reminds me of lawn-rolling and dandelion salad. It happens to be a playfully gorgeous floral as well, so this wayside weed shouldn't have any trouble finding its way to your doorstep! Also, don't eat dandelion salad from your yard if you have dogs.

About .3oz in a little glass bottle complete with roll-on thinger. Individually shrink wrapped, and tested on friends, not animals.

The carrier oils I use are fractionated coconut oil and unrefined hemp seed oil, which make for a light, non-greasy feel when applied. The vitamin e is in there as an antioxidant. You'll notice the shocking lack of alcohol.

Ingredients: Fractionated Coconut Oil; Unrefined Hemp Seed Oil; Fragrance Oil; Tocopherol (Vitamin E)

Inspired by Jill Barklem's classic children's book, The Secret Staircase, this one conjures yuletide celebrations in the hedgerow. 

Notes: lingonberry, honeycomb, cypress, violet, vetiver

About .3oz in a little glass bottle complete with roll-on thinger. Individually shrink wrapped, and tested on friends, not animals.

The carrier oils I use are fractionated coconut oil and unrefined hemp seed oil, which make for a light, non-greasy feel when applied. The vitamin e is in there as an antioxidant. You'll notice the shocking lack of alcohol.

Ingredients: Fractionated Coconut Oil; Unrefined Hemp Seed Oil; Fragrance; Tocopherol (Vitamin E)

Sweet juicy dragonfruit, minus the weird seeds all up in your teeth.

About .3oz in a little glass bottle complete with roll-on thinger. Individually shrink wrapped, and tested on friends, not animals.

The carrier oils I use are fractionated coconut oil and unrefined hemp seed oil, which make for a light, non-greasy feel when applied. The vitamin e is in there as an antioxidant. You'll notice the shocking lack of alcohol.

Ingredients: Fractionated Coconut Oil; Unrefined Hemp Seed Oil; Fragrance Oil; Tocopherol (Vitamin E)

Rose, Lavender, and Green Tea. Perfect for rummaging around in the ivy and muttering to wild birds.  

About .3oz in a little glass bottle complete with roll-on thinger. Individually shrink wrapped, and tested on friends, not animals.

The carrier oils I use are fractionated coconut oil and unrefined hemp seed oil, which make for a light, non-greasy feel when applied. The vitamin e is in there as an antioxidant. You'll notice the shocking lack of alcohol.

Ingredients: Fractionated Coconut Oil; Unrefined Hemp Seed Oil; Fragrance; Tocopherol (Vitamin E)

Old fashioned violet, spun sugar, and a bit of tonka bean.

About .3oz in a little glass bottle complete with roll-on thinger. Individually shrink wrapped, and tested on friends, not animals.

The carrier oils I use are fractionated coconut oil and unrefined hemp seed oil, which make for a light, non-greasy feel when applied. The vitamin e is in there as an antioxidant. You'll notice the shocking lack of alcohol.

Ingredients: Fractionated Coconut Oil; Unrefined Hemp Seed Oil; Fragrance and Essential Oils; Tocopherol (Vitamin E)

When we see the first robin of spring, we start to anticipate all the things that come with the thaw. The first tips of green in the fields, the dandelions that quickly follow, then the hyacinths, then the lilac hedges, and the steady beat of wet earth that accompanies them all. (We left out the secret pile of thawing shit your dog left for you next to the porch.)

About .3oz in a little glass bottle complete with roll-on thinger. Individually shrink wrapped, and tested on friends, not animals.

The carrier oils I use are fractionated coconut oil and unrefined hemp seed oil, which make for a light, non-greasy feel when applied. The vitamin e is in there as an antioxidant. You'll notice the shocking lack of alcohol.

Ingredients: Fractionated Coconut Oil; Unrefined Hemp Seed Oil; Fragrance; Tocopherol (Vitamin E)

We believe bodily autonomy to be a human right, and we don't care who knows it. This outspoken tube right here smells like cherry cobbler. 

This balm is designed to melt into your lips, not into your jeans! Which is good, because I keep mine in my butt pocket. That would be embarrassing... It's got lots of yumminess in it: natural beeswax (you'll smell a little extra honey), unrefined cocoa butter (you'll smell a little cocoa too), unrefined shea butter, jojoba, sweet almond, and grape seed oils, vitamin E, and flavor oil. It's carefully formulated to give you the perfect balance of protection and softness, so you won't end up feeling greasy or waxy. My mom says, "Ooo, creeamy" every time she uses hers, if that's any indication. She has a little flair for the dramatic.

It comes in an oval plastic twist-up tube, which holds .15oz/4g and is individually shrink wrapped.