Featured In-Stock Items

Scented with a dupe of a certain unmentionable green detergent bar and visually as superficially manly as using harsh soap just because that's what he's always used. For when he "likes what he likes" but you know better.

About 5-6oz per bar.

Superfatted to 5%, tested on friends, not animals. Each bar comes in its own little muslin bag and wrapped in recycled brown paper printed with title and ingredients.

Ingredients: Water; Lye; Coconut, Palm, Olive, and Canola Oils; Shea Butter; Fragrance; Bamboo Charcoal; Poppy Seeds

Smells just exactly like real imaginary unicorn farts! Which smell like spearmint and pink cotton candy, everybody knows that.

This balm is designed to melt into your lips, not into your jeans! Which is good, because I keep mine in my butt pocket. That would be embarrassing... It's got lots of yumminess in it: natural beeswax (you'll smell a little extra honey), unrefined cocoa butter (you'll smell a little cocoa too), unrefined shea butter, jojoba, sweet almond, and grape seed oils, vitamin E, and flavor oil. It's carefully formulated to give you the perfect balance of protection and softness, so you won't end up feeling greasy or waxy. My mom says, "Ooo, creeamy" every time she uses hers, if that's any indication. She has a little flair for the dramatic.

It comes in an oval plastic twist-up tube, which holds .15oz/4g and is individually shrink wrapped.

'Unicorn Farts' for cosmetic use is a registered trademark. My registered trademark, to be specific. Thank you for respecting my intellectual property and legal headaches, bath folk!

No fragrance, no color, just plain soap.

About 5oz per bar.

Superfatted to 5%, tested on friends, not animals. Each bar comes in its own little muslin bag, wrapped in a recycled paper band, printed with title and ingredients.

Ingredients: Water; Lye; Coconut, Palm, Olive, and Canola Oils; Shea Butter

Apricot and honey, the scent of Diana Bishop's irresistable soap in Deborah Harkness' All Souls series. 

About .3oz in a little glass bottle complete with roll-on thinger. Individually shrink wrapped, and tested on friends, not animals.

The carrier oils I use are fractionated coconut oil and unrefined hemp seed oil, which make for a light, non-greasy feel when applied. The vitamin e is in there as an antioxidant. You'll notice the shocking lack of alcohol.

Ingredients: Fractionated Coconut Oil; Unrefined Hemp Seed Oil; Fragrance Oils; Tocopherol (Vitamin E)

Sea salt and sun washed timber.

About .3oz in a little glass bottle complete with roll-on thinger. Individually shrink wrapped, and tested on friends, not animals.

The carrier oils I use are fractionated coconut oil and unrefined hemp seed oil, which make for a light, non-greasy feel when applied. The vitamin e is in there as an antioxidant. You'll notice the shocking lack of alcohol.

Ingredients: Fractionated Coconut Oil; Unrefined Hemp Seed Oil; Fragrance Oil; Tocopherol (Vitamin E)

A super happy blend of Peach, Plumeria, and Pink Grapefruit. It smells like my shower in the 90s. Very Angela Chase before she met Rayanne Graff.

About .3oz in a little glass bottle complete with roll-on thinger. Individually shrink wrapped, and tested on friends, not animals.

The carrier oils I use are fractionated coconut oil and unrefined hemp seed oil, which make for a light, non-greasy feel when applied. The vitamin e is in there as an antioxidant. You'll notice the shocking lack of alcohol.

Ingredients: Fractionated Coconut Oil; Unrefined Hemp Seed Oil; Fragrance; Tocopherol (Vitamin E)

Where my Festival girls at? If you’re into Festival and/or Dirty Hippie chances are you’ll lose your mind over this one. It’s mostly nag champa and lilac with some musk and patchouli for a nice mellow. Named for the Celtic goddess of the vernal equinox because hippie smells and pagan stuff just go together. I could have called it “woman with suede fringe purse full of empty rolling paper boxes and Magic Hat labels because the logo art was too cute to recycle” but this was shorter. 

About .3oz in a little glass bottle complete with roll-on thinger. Individually shrink wrapped, and tested on friends, not animals.

The carrier oils I use are fractionated coconut oil and unrefined hemp seed oil, which make for a light, non-greasy feel when applied. The vitamin e is in there as an antioxidant. You'll notice the shocking lack of alcohol.

Ingredients: Fractionated Coconut Oil; Unrefined Hemp Seed Oil; Fragrance and Essential Oils; Tocopherol (Vitamin E)

Rose, sea moss, and a few drops of fir needle. Cuz, Maine.

About .3oz in a little glass bottle complete with roll-on thinger. Individually shrink wrapped, and tested on friends, not animals.

The carrier oils I use are fractionated coconut oil and unrefined hemp seed oil, which make for a light, non-greasy feel when applied. The vitamin e is in there as an antioxidant. You'll notice the shocking lack of alcohol.

Ingredients: Fractionated Coconut Oil; Unrefined Hemp Seed Oil; Fragrance Oil; Tocopherol (Vitamin E)

Sweet, fruity fig and fir needle. It smells like both the first flow of sap in the spring and that first night after you put up the Christmas tree in winter. That's doubly nostalgic.

About 5oz per bar.

Superfatted to 5%, tested on friends, not animals. Each bar comes in its own little muslin bag, wrapped in a recycled paper band, printed with title and ingredients.

Ingredients: Water; Lye; Coconut, Palm, Olive, and Canola Oils; Shea Butter; Fragrance; Alkanet Root; Titanium Dioxide

Patchouli, lavender, and amber, all swirled up in black and gold. We can't guarantee you'll wake up in your own bed, but we can guarantee you'll smell good getting wherever it is you end up instead.

About 5oz per bar.

Superfatted to 5%, tested on friends, not animals. Each bar comes in its own little muslin bag, wrapped in a recycled paper band, printed with title and ingredients.

Ingredients: Water; Lye; Beer (Hops, Barley, Wheat, Corn); Coconut, Palm, Olive, and Canola Oils; Shea Butter; Fragrance; Charcoal; Mica; Oxide Colorants

So very true to the quintessential lilac, it could throw off mother nature's phenological clock. Well probably not, but it's enough to give me spring fever.

About .3oz in a little glass bottle complete with roll-on thinger. Individually shrink wrapped, and tested on friends, not animals.

The carrier oils I use are fractionated coconut oil and unrefined hemp seed oil, which make for a light, non-greasy feel when applied. The vitamin e is in there as an antioxidant. You'll notice the shocking lack of alcohol.

Ingredients: Fractionated Coconut Oil; Unrefined Hemp Seed Oil; Fragrance; Tocopherol (Vitamin E)

Spruce and vetiver, for when the river freezes and the summer ends.

About .3oz in a little glass bottle complete with roll-on thinger. Individually shrink wrapped, and tested on friends, not animals.

The carrier oils I use are fractionated coconut oil and unrefined hemp seed oil, which make for a light, non-greasy feel when applied. The vitamin e is in there as an antioxidant. You'll notice the shocking lack of alcohol.

Ingredients: Fractionated Coconut Oil; Unrefined Hemp Seed Oil; Fragrance and Essential Oils; Tocopherol (Vitamin E)

Sweet and green, this is a blend of honey, crushed green leaves, sweet orange, and a little bitter almond.  It's surprisingly fresh and Alpine meadow-like.

Fun fact: Back in the day, German soldiers climbed great heights to retrieve this flower and prove their worth. Pretty badass.

About .3oz in a little glass bottle complete with roll-on thinger. Individually shrink wrapped, and tested on friends, not animals.

The carrier oils I use are fractionated coconut oil and unrefined hemp seed oil, which make for a light, non-greasy feel when applied. The vitamin e is in there as an antioxidant. You'll notice the shocking lack of alcohol.

Ingredients: Fractionated Coconut Oil; Unrefined Hemp Seed Oil; Fragrance; Tocopherol (Vitamin E)

Sweet and a little tobacco-y, like Santa's been smoking out of a cherry candy pipe.

About 5-6oz per bar.

Superfatted to 5%, tested on friends, not animals. Each bar comes in its own little muslin bag and wrapped in recycled brown paper printed with title and ingredients.

Ingredients: Water; Lye; Coconut, Palm, Olive, and Canola Oils; Shea Butter; Fragrance; Charcoal; Safflower Petals

Bright and clean and sorta herbal and sorta fruity and just a little scrubby from the calendula petals.

About 5oz per bar.

Superfatted to 5%, tested on friends, not animals. Each bar comes in its own little muslin bag, wrapped with a recycled paper label printed with title and ingredients.

Ingredients: Water; Lye; Coconut, Palm, Olive, and Canola Oils; Shea Butter; Fragrance; Mica; Mineral Pigments; Titanium Dioxide, Alkanet Root, and Calendula Petals

Sweet and musky and woodsy all in one, this has me writing historical romance novels in my head about a morally ambiguous collier and the printer’s daughter with matching smudges who taught him about labor unions and feelings and... Sorry, I’ll go take a shower.

About 5oz per bar.

Superfatted to 5%, tested on friends, not animals. Each bar comes in its own little muslin bag, wrapped in a recycled paper band, printed with title and ingredients.

Ingredients: Water; Lye; Coconut, Palm, Olive, and Canola Oils; Shea Butter; Fragrance; Bamboo Charcoal; Safflower Petals

Spruce and vetiver for when the river freezes and summer ends.

About 5-6oz per bar.

Superfatted to 5%, tested on friends, not animals. Each bar comes in its own little muslin bag and wrapped in recycled brown paper printed with title and ingredients.

Ingredients: Water; Lye; Coconut, Palm, Olive, and Canola Oils; Shea Butter; Fragrance; Green Tea Powder

This slice of delicious is mostly toasted almond with notes of nutmeg and drizzled chocolate. Not to be taken lightly, folks.

About 5oz per bar. 

Superfatted to 5%, tested on friends, not animals. Each bar comes in its own little muslin bag, wrapped in a recycled paper band, printed with title and ingredients.

Ingredients: Water; Almond Milk; Lye; Coconut, Palm, Olive, and Canola Oils; Shea Butter; Fragrance

The anise in this blend pulls out the fruity notes in the lavender, it's kind of my new favorite thing. And I don't even like anise.

About 5oz per bar.

Superfatted to 5%, tested on friends, not animals. Each bar comes in its own little muslin bag, printed with title and ingredients.

Ingredients: Water; Lye; Coconut, Palm, Olive, Sunflower, and Canola Oils; Shea Butter; Lavender and Anise Essential Oils; Bamboo Charcoal; Cornflower Petals

Fresh and earthy with patchouli, lemongrass, and goat milk. 

This limited batch is a complicated use of ingredients that we don’t intend to keep on hand for continuous production. Once it sells out, it’s gone for good! 

About 5oz per bar.

Superfatted to 5%, tested on friends, not animals. Each bar comes in its own little muslin bag, wrapped with a recycled paper label printed with title and ingredients.

Ingredients: Water; Lye; Goat Milk; Coconut, Palm, Olive, and Canola Oils; Shea Butter; Patchouli and Lemongrass Essential Oils; Alfalfa Leaf Powder; Dried Lemongrass

Straight up plumeria. It smells a lot like the 90s.

About 5-6oz per bar.

Superfatted to 5%, tested on friends, not animals. Each bar comes in its own little muslin bag, wrapped in recycled paper printed with title and ingredients.

Ingredients: Water; Lye; Coconut, Palm, Olive, Sunflower, and Canola Oils; Shea Butter; Fragrance; Mica; Mineral Pigment; Safflower Petal Powder

"There's no wrong way to consume alcohol, son." -Ron Swanson

This balm is designed to melt into your lips, not into your jeans! Which is good, because I keep mine in my butt pocket. That would be embarrassing... It's got lots of yumminess in it: natural beeswax (you'll smell a little extra honey), unrefined cocoa butter (you'll smell a little cocoa too), unrefined shea butter, jojoba, sweet almond, and grape seed oils, vitamin E, and flavor oil. It's carefully formulated to give you the perfect balance of protection and softness, so you won't end up feeling greasy or waxy. My mom says, "Ooo, creeamy" every time she uses hers, if that's any indication. She has a little flair for the dramatic.

It comes in an oval plastic twist-up tube, which holds .15oz/4g and is individually shrink wrapped.

Acorns and cashews! That's right, not your run of the mill nuts, we play with the weird nuts over here.

This balm is designed to melt into your lips, not into your jeans! Which is good, because I keep mine in my butt pocket. That would be embarrassing... It's got lots of yumminess in it: natural beeswax (you'll smell a little extra honey), unrefined cocoa butter (you'll smell a little cocoa too), unrefined shea butter, jojoba, sweet almond, and grape seed oils, vitamin E, and flavor oil. It's carefully formulated to give you the perfect balance of protection and softness, so you won't end up feeling greasy or waxy. My mom says, "Ooo, creeamy" every time she uses hers, if that's any indication. She has a little flair for the dramatic.

It comes in an oval plastic twist-up tube, which holds .15oz/4g and is individually shrink wrapped.

This one takes me immediately to a scene of cruise schedules and paper umbrellas, or in pandemic terms, Malibu and pineapple juice in your home office at 2pm on a Wednesday. 

Scent: orange, pineapple, freesia

About 5oz per bar.

Superfatted to 5%, tested on friends, not animals. Each bar comes in its own little muslin bag, wrapped in a recycled paper band, printed with title and ingredients.

Ingredients: Water; Lye; Coconut, Palm, Olive, and Canola Oils; Shea Butter; Fragrance; Alkanet Root; Titanium Dioxide; Turmeric Powder; Hibiscus Petals

This may be my favorite scent of all time. Then again, I think grass stains on the knees is a flawless sign of happy children and my favorite kind of adults, so I could be partial. The scent is lush, sweet, and very green, just like a freshly mowed lawn.

About 5-6oz per bar.

Superfatted to 5%, tested on friends, not animals. Each bar comes in its own little muslin bag and wrapped in recycled brown paper printed with title and ingredients.

Ingredients: Water; Lye; Coconut, Palm, Olive, Sunflower, and Canola Oils; Shea Butter; Fragrance; Chromium Oxide Pigment

Strawberries, sugar, and a little white chocolate to make it extra yummy.

This balm is designed to melt into your lips, not into your jeans! Which is good, because I keep mine in my butt pocket. That would be embarrassing... It's got lots of yumminess in it: natural beeswax (you'll smell a little extra honey), unrefined cocoa butter (you'll smell a little cocoa too), unrefined shea butter, jojoba, sweet almond, and grape seed oils, vitamin E, and flavor oil. It's carefully formulated to give you the perfect balance of protection and softness, so you won't end up feeling greasy or waxy. My mom says, "Ooo, creeamy" every time she uses hers, if that's any indication. She has a little flair for the dramatic.

It comes in an oval plastic twist-up tube, which holds .15oz/4g and is individually shrink wrapped.

Almonds, brown sugar, biscuity goodness.

This balm is designed to melt into your lips, not into your jeans! Which is good, because I keep mine in my butt pocket. That would be embarrassing... It's got lots of yumminess in it: natural beeswax (you'll smell a little extra honey), unrefined cocoa butter (you'll smell a little cocoa too), unrefined shea butter, jojoba, sweet almond, and grape seed oils, vitamin E, and flavor oil. It's carefully formulated to give you the perfect balance of protection and softness, so you won't end up feeling greasy or waxy. My mom says, "Ooo, creeamy" every time she uses hers, if that's any indication. She has a little flair for the dramatic.

It comes in an oval plastic twist-up tube, which holds .15oz/4g and is individually shrink wrapped.

Just like Maine's favorite cocktail, this is flavored with ginger and dark rum with a twist of lime.

This balm is designed to melt into your lips, not into your jeans! Which is good, because I keep mine in my butt pocket. That would be embarrassing... It's got lots of yumminess in it: natural beeswax (you'll smell a little extra honey), unrefined cocoa butter (you'll smell a little cocoa too), unrefined shea butter, jojoba, sweet almond, and grape seed oils, vitamin E, and flavor oil. It's carefully formulated to give you the perfect balance of protection and softness, so you won't end up feeling greasy or waxy. My mom says, "Ooo, creeamy" every time she uses hers, if that's any indication. She has a little flair for the dramatic. Sad!

It comes in an oval plastic twist-up tube, which holds .15oz/4g and is individually shrink wrapped.