11 products
11 products














11 products
Nasty Woman Lip Balm
Regular price $5.00 USD Save $-5.00 USDFor all those times some asshole keeps interrupting you and you nearly bite through your lip. We flavored it with coffee and walnut, because we suddenly and inexplicably were in the mood for pairing nuts and scalding hot coffee.
This balm is designed to melt into your lips, not into your jeans! Which is good, because I keep mine in my butt pocket. That would be embarrassing... It's got lots of yumminess in it: natural beeswax (you'll smell a little extra honey), unrefined cocoa butter (you'll smell a little cocoa too), unrefined shea butter, jojoba, sweet almond, and grape seed oils, vitamin E, and flavor oil. It's carefully formulated to give you the perfect balance of protection and softness, so you won't end up feeling greasy or waxy. My mom says, "Ooo, creeamy" every time she uses hers, if that's any indication. She has a little flair for the dramatic.
It comes in an oval plastic twist-up tube, which holds .15oz/4g and is individually shrink wrapped.
Read My Lip Balm
Regular price $5.00 USD Save $-5.00 USDWe've heard that a lot of you use our more salty lip balms as not-so-subtle messages in uncomfortable social situations, so we thought we'd give you a few more (even saltier) options. Now you can stock your drawer with a full spectrum of silent retorts and be prepared for whoever shows up in front of your desk!
Each balm in this series has its own insult and its own flavor, so choose wisely! And no, Karen, we can't switch up the flavors.
This balm is designed to melt into your lips, not into your jeans! Which is good, because I keep mine in my butt pocket. That would be embarrassing... It's got lots of yumminess in it: natural beeswax (you'll smell a little extra honey), unrefined cocoa butter (you'll smell a little cocoa too), unrefined shea butter, jojoba, sweet almond, and grape seed oils, vitamin E, and flavor oil. It's carefully formulated to give you the perfect balance of protection and softness, so you won't end up feeling greasy or waxy. My mom says, "Ooo, creeamy" every time she uses hers, if that's any indication. She has a little flair for the dramatic.
It comes in an oval plastic twist-up tube, which holds .15oz/4g and is individually shrink wrapped.
Love Notes Lip Balm
Regular price $5.00 USD Save $-5.00 USDWe know how y'all love to make a statement with your lip balms, so we're giving you some options for Valentine's Day! With twelve different phrases, you should be able to find one to match any relationship or lack thereof.*
Love is complicated enough, so we kept it simple and flavored them all with chocolate and strawberries. We figured that wouldn't clash with the traditional snacks of the day, and to be honest, we didn't want to think about what your relationship tastes like.
This balm is designed to melt into your lips, not into your jeans! Which is good, because I keep mine in my butt pocket. That would be embarrassing... It's got lots of yumminess in it: natural beeswax (you'll smell a little extra honey), unrefined cocoa butter (you'll smell a little cocoa too), unrefined shea butter, jojoba, sweet almond, and grape seed oils, vitamin E, and flavor oil. It's carefully formulated to give you the perfect balance of protection and softness, so you won't end up feeling greasy or waxy. My mom says, "Ooo, creeamy" every time she uses hers, if that's any indication. She has a little flair for the dramatic.
It comes in an oval plastic twist-up tube, which holds .15oz/4g and is individually shrink wrapped.
*Not classy enough for you? Please find our personalized Suck It balm here.
Tear That Sh*t Up Lip Balm
Regular price $5.00 USD Save $-5.00 USD
Show that special someone that you've got her back, especially when she gets in there with both hands and lights a fire.
Flavor: dark chocolate mousse
This balm is designed to melt into your lips, not into your jeans! Which is good, because I keep mine in my butt pocket. That would be embarrassing... It's got lots of yumminess in it: natural beeswax (you'll smell a little extra honey), unrefined cocoa butter (you'll smell a little cocoa too), unrefined shea butter, jojoba, sweet almond, and grape seed oils, vitamin E, and flavor oil. It's carefully formulated to give you the perfect balance of protection and softness, so you won't end up feeling greasy or waxy. My mom says, "Ooo, creeamy" every time she uses hers, if that's any indication. She has a little flair for the dramatic.
It comes in an oval plastic twist-up tube, which holds .15oz/4g and is individually shrink wrapped.
Snowflake Lip Balm
Regular price $5.00 USD Save $-5.00 USDHere in Maine, we're familiar with the power of snowflakes. When assembled towards a common goal they'll change the course of your whole day, and sometimes even history. We flavored this snowflake with hot chocolate and brandy so you can be extra prepared for the next avalanche.
Be honest, how many times today were you called a snowflake for being a conscious, empathetic, decent human being? About time we appropriate the word, don't ya think?
This balm is designed to melt into your lips, not into your jeans! Which is good, because I keep mine in my butt pocket. That would be embarrassing... It's got lots of yumminess in it: natural beeswax (you'll smell a little extra honey), unrefined cocoa butter (you'll smell a little cocoa too), unrefined shea butter, jojoba, sweet almond, and grape seed oils, vitamin E, and flavor oil. It's carefully formulated to give you the perfect balance of protection and softness, so you won't end up feeling greasy or waxy. My mom says, "Ooo, creeamy" every time she uses hers, if that's any indication. She has a little flair for the dramatic.
It comes in an oval plastic twist-up tube, which holds .15oz/4g and is individually shrink wrapped.
Suck It Kyrie Lip Balm
Regular price $5.00 USD Save $-5.00 USDThis lip balm won't quit on you after promising to be with you forever.
Flavored with Irish Cream, obviously.
This balm is designed to melt into your lips, not into your jeans! Which is good, because I keep mine in my butt pocket. That would be embarrassing... It's got lots of yumminess in it: natural beeswax (you'll smell a little extra honey), unrefined cocoa butter (you'll smell a little cocoa too), unrefined shea butter, jojoba, sweet almond, and grape seed oils, vitamin E, and flavor oil. It's carefully formulated to give you the perfect balance of protection and softness, so you won't end up feeling greasy or waxy. My mom says, "Ooo, creeamy" every time she uses hers, if that's any indication. She has a little flair for the dramatic.
It comes in an oval plastic twist-up tube, which holds .15oz/4g and is individually shrink wrapped.
Spoiler Alert Lip Balm
Regular price $5.00 USD Save $-5.00 USDIf you're thinking about being that jackass who spoils the movie for everyone else, take a minute, put on some lip balm, and remember that BRUCE WILLIS WAS DEAD THE WHOLE TIME! Each label is armed with one of 32 different spoilers. Some are obvious, some are obscure, some are rewrites to reflect what obviously should have happened instead of what actually happened. Sorry, we're going to have to pick the spoilers for you. No, we can't tell you which one you're going to get, that would spoil it.
Flavor: chocolate and soda. Because movies, and popcorn is so clichéd.
This balm is designed to melt into your lips, not into your jeans! Which is good, because I keep mine in my butt pocket. That would be embarrassing... It's got lots of yumminess in it: natural beeswax (you'll smell a little extra honey), unrefined cocoa butter (you'll smell a little cocoa too), unrefined shea butter, jojoba, sweet almond, and grape seed oils, vitamin E, and flavor oil. It's carefully formulated to give you the perfect balance of protection and softness, so you won't end up feeling greasy or waxy. My mom says, "Ooo, creeamy" every time she uses hers, if that's any indication. She has a little flair for the dramatic.
It comes in an oval plastic twist-up tube, which holds .15oz/4g and is individually shrink wrapped.
My Lips, My Choice Lip Balm
Regular price $5.00 USD Save $-5.00 USDWe believe bodily autonomy to be a human right, and we don't care who knows it. This outspoken tube right here smells like cherry cobbler.
This balm is designed to melt into your lips, not into your jeans! Which is good, because I keep mine in my butt pocket. That would be embarrassing... It's got lots of yumminess in it: natural beeswax (you'll smell a little extra honey), unrefined cocoa butter (you'll smell a little cocoa too), unrefined shea butter, jojoba, sweet almond, and grape seed oils, vitamin E, and flavor oil. It's carefully formulated to give you the perfect balance of protection and softness, so you won't end up feeling greasy or waxy. My mom says, "Ooo, creeamy" every time she uses hers, if that's any indication. She has a little flair for the dramatic.
It comes in an oval plastic twist-up tube, which holds .15oz/4g and is individually shrink wrapped.
100% That Bitch Lip Balm
Regular price $5.00 USD Save $-5.00 USD
Everybody's been getting their DNA tested lately! So much fun to show off that heritage, isn't it?
Flavor: honey + cherry
This balm is designed to melt into your lips, not into your jeans! Which is good, because I keep mine in my butt pocket. That would be embarrassing... It's got lots of yumminess in it: natural beeswax (you'll smell a little extra honey), unrefined cocoa butter (you'll smell a little cocoa too), unrefined shea butter, jojoba, sweet almond, and grape seed oils, vitamin E, and flavor oil. It's carefully formulated to give you the perfect balance of protection and softness, so you won't end up feeling greasy or waxy. My mom says, "Ooo, creeamy" every time she uses hers, if that's any indication. She has a little flair for the dramatic.
It comes in an oval plastic twist-up tube, which holds .15oz/4g and is individually shrink wrapped.
Blue Wave Lip Balm
Regular price $5.00 USD Save $-5.00 USDThis limited time lip balm is perfect for standing in line to vote early, driving all of your apathetic friends to the polls on election day, and protesting all winter after the Russians hack the results.
Flavored with blueberry and pineapple, like a fresh, clean, tropical wave coming in to flip our canoe back into balance.
$1 from each lip balm will be donated to the Brennan Center to aid in their fight to ensure everyone's vote counts.
*** ONLY AVAILABLE UNTIL ELECTION DAY ***
This balm is designed to melt into your lips, not into your jeans! Which is good, because I keep mine in my butt pocket. That would be embarrassing... It's got lots of yumminess in it: natural beeswax (you'll smell a little extra honey), unrefined cocoa butter (you'll smell a little cocoa too), unrefined shea butter, jojoba, sweet almond, and grape seed oils, vitamin E, and flavor oil. It's carefully formulated to give you the perfect balance of protection and softness, so you won't end up feeling greasy or waxy. My mom says, "Ooo, creeamy" every time she uses hers, if that's any indication. She has a little flair for the dramatic.
It comes in an oval plastic twist-up tube, which holds .15oz/4g and is individually shrink wrapped.