Noir

"There's no wrong way to consume alcohol, son." -Ron Swanson

This balm is designed to melt into your lips, not into your jeans! Which is good, because I keep mine in my butt pocket. That would be embarrassing... It's got lots of yumminess in it: natural beeswax (you'll smell a little extra honey), unrefined cocoa butter (you'll smell a little cocoa too), unrefined shea butter, jojoba, sweet almond, and grape seed oils, vitamin E, and flavor oil. It's carefully formulated to give you the perfect balance of protection and softness, so you won't end up feeling greasy or waxy. My mom says, "Ooo, creeamy" every time she uses hers, if that's any indication. She has a little flair for the dramatic.

It comes in an oval plastic twist-up tube, which holds .15oz/4g and is individually shrink wrapped.

Patchouli, lavender, and amber, all swirled up in black and gold. We can't guarantee you'll wake up in your own bed, but we can guarantee you'll smell good getting wherever it is you end up instead.

About 5oz per bar.

Superfatted to 5%, tested on friends, not animals. Each bar comes in its own little muslin bag, wrapped in a recycled paper band, printed with title and ingredients.

Ingredients: Water; Lye; Beer (Hops, Barley, Wheat, Corn); Coconut, Palm, Olive, Sunflower, and Canola Oils; Shea Butter; Fragrance; Charcoal; Mica; Oxide Colorants

This isn't your grandma's lip balm. Unless you're from Maine, then it's *definitely* your grandma's lip balm

This balm is designed to melt into your lips, not into your jeans! Which is good, because I keep mine in my butt pocket. That would be embarrassing... It's got lots of yumminess in it: natural beeswax (you'll smell a little extra honey), unrefined cocoa butter (you'll smell a little cocoa too), unrefined shea butter, jojoba, sweet almond, and grape seed oils, vitamin E, and flavor oil. It's carefully formulated to give you the perfect balance of protection and softness, so you won't end up feeling greasy or waxy. My mom says, "Ooo, creeamy" every time she uses hers, if that's any indication. She has a little flair for the dramatic.

It comes in an oval plastic twist-up tube, which holds .15oz/4g and is individually shrink wrapped.

Scented with acorns and black oak fragrance oil, which is everyone's favorite modern woodsy stink. It's lovely on a woman, but it could easily be worn by a man, too.

About .3oz in a little glass bottle complete with roll-on thinger. Individually shrink wrapped, and tested on friends, not animals.

The carrier oils I use are fractionated coconut oil and unrefined hemp seed oil, which make for a light, non-greasy feel when applied. The vitamin e is in there as an antioxidant. You'll notice the shocking lack of alcohol.

Ingredients: Fractionated Coconut Oil; Unrefined Hemp Seed Oil; Fragrance Oil; Tocopherol (Vitamin E)

Last month we asked the internet to name their favorite hot toddy recipe. The internet responded. In force. After repeatedly testing each suggestion carefully, we have concluded that the best and most oft-suggested recipe consists of bourbon, honey, ginger, and lemon. It's entirely possible that we're biased due to testing this recipe every single time it was suggested--for science. Either way, now it's a lip balm.

This balm is designed to melt into your lips, not into your jeans! Which is good, because I keep mine in my butt pocket. That would be embarrassing... It's got lots of yumminess in it: natural beeswax (you'll smell a little extra honey), unrefined cocoa butter (you'll smell a little cocoa too), unrefined shea butter, jojoba, sweet almond, and grape seed oils, vitamin E, and flavor oil. It's carefully formulated to give you the perfect balance of protection and softness, so you won't end up feeling greasy or waxy. My mom says, "Ooo, creeamy" every time she uses hers, if that's any indication. She has a little flair for the dramatic.

It comes in an oval plastic twist-up tube, which holds .15oz/4g and is individually shrink wrapped.

Just like Maine's favorite cocktail, this is flavored with ginger and dark rum with a twist of lime.

This balm is designed to melt into your lips, not into your jeans! Which is good, because I keep mine in my butt pocket. That would be embarrassing... It's got lots of yumminess in it: natural beeswax (you'll smell a little extra honey), unrefined cocoa butter (you'll smell a little cocoa too), unrefined shea butter, jojoba, sweet almond, and grape seed oils, vitamin E, and flavor oil. It's carefully formulated to give you the perfect balance of protection and softness, so you won't end up feeling greasy or waxy. My mom says, "Ooo, creeamy" every time she uses hers, if that's any indication. She has a little flair for the dramatic. Sad!

It comes in an oval plastic twist-up tube, which holds .15oz/4g and is individually shrink wrapped.

Honey and bourbon. First you drink it for your sore throat, then you just drink it for everything.

This balm is designed to melt into your lips, not into your jeans! Which is good, because I keep mine in my butt pocket. That would be embarrassing... It's got lots of yumminess in it: natural beeswax (you'll smell a little extra honey), unrefined cocoa butter (you'll smell a little cocoa too), unrefined shea butter, jojoba, sweet almond, and grape seed oils, vitamin E, and flavor oil. It's carefully formulated to give you the perfect balance of protection and softness, so you won't end up feeling greasy or waxy. My mom says, "Ooo, creeamy" every time she uses hers, if that's any indication. She has a little flair for the dramatic.

It comes in an oval plastic twist-up tube, which holds .15oz/4g and is individually shrink wrapped.

Bourbon and tobacco. Perfect for secret drinking in the shower. 

About 5oz per bar.

Superfatted to 5%, tested on friends, not animals. Each bar comes in its own little muslin bag, printed with title and ingredients.

Ingredients: Water; Lye; Coconut, Palm, Olive, Sunflower, and Canola Oils; Shea Butter; Fragrance; Bamboo Charcoal

Lots of charcoal and poppy seeds to get you clean; scented with chocolate, leather, hickory, and patchouli to keep you naughty. 

About 5oz per bar.

Superfatted to 5%, tested on friends, not animals. Each bar comes in its own little muslin bag, printed with title and ingredients.

Ingredients: Water; Lye; Coconut, Palm, Olive, and Canola Oils; Shea Butter; Fragrance; Poppy Seeds; Bamboo Charcoal

Baby, with our balm and your lips, we could go places. 

Flavor: black cherry + bourbon

Sales from this lip balm will go toward my husband's new film MAINE NOIR, a film about a woman who finds a lot of money hidden in her house and -- SPOILER -- someone wants it back. 

This balm is designed to melt into your lips, not into your jeans! Which is good, because I keep mine in my butt pocket. That would be embarrassing... It's got lots of yumminess in it: natural beeswax (you'll smell a little extra honey), unrefined cocoa butter (you'll smell a little cocoa too), unrefined shea butter, jojoba, sweet almond, and grape seed oils, vitamin E, and flavor oil. It's carefully formulated to give you the perfect balance of protection and softness, so you won't end up feeling greasy or waxy. My mom says, "Ooo, creeamy" every time she uses hers, if that's any indication. She has a little flair for the dramatic.

It comes in an oval plastic twist-up tube, which holds .15oz/4g and is individually shrink wrapped.

Scented with a dupe of a certain unmentionable green detergent bar and visually as superficially manly as using harsh soap just because that's what he's always used. For when he "likes what he likes" but you know better.

About 5-6oz per bar.

Superfatted to 5%, tested on friends, not animals. Each bar comes in its own little muslin bag and wrapped in recycled brown paper printed with title and ingredients.

Ingredients: Water; Lye; Coconut, Palm, Olive, and Canola Oils; Shea Butter; Fragrance; Bamboo Charcoal; Poppy Seeds